Stress created by developmental conditions, inequality, bad habits, trauma and suppressed and toxic emotions is dangerous to our health.
''Stress - of all types - has been linked to depression, cardiovascular disease, and the rapid progression of illness. Sheldon Cohen at Carnegie Mellon, who has been studying the association, explains that the damage comes from two directions.''
''People under stress often develop bad habits, like sleeping less, skipping the gym, eating junk food, smoking more, and drinking more. Second, the body reacts to mental stress.'' - Psychology Today
''Sorrows which find no vent in tears may soon make other organs weep.'' - Sir Henry Maudsley
Research done at the University of London and the work of Dr. Hans Eysneck, suggest that unresolved emotional issues are six times more predictive of coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer and diabetes than is a poor diet or lack of exercise.
''People think that all stresses have the same effect on the body, but stress caused by how others view you is extremely powerful, as much [as] or more so than those caused from losing a job or working too hard.'' - Margaret Kemeny, a Psychologist at University of California at San Francisco
''Dr. Christiane Northrup coined the term 'toxic emotion.' In 'Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom,' she writes, 'A thought held long enough and repeated often enough becomes a belief.' That belief then becomes a biology in which emotional stress causes our adrenal glands to produce corticosteroids - hormones that weaken our immune systems.''
Guilt, where we've done something wrong or believe we have, when unconfessed becomes shame, where we feel like something or everything is wrong with us, and it's toxic to our health.
''Shame results when people receive negative messages - either internally or from others, leading them to believe they're a bad or defective person who is helpless to change that deficit. And when you factor in the feelings of helplessness and powerlessness that often accompany shame, it's no surprise that it produces high levels of stress-related hormones.'' - Mary Turner, PhD
''Suppressed anger is probably the most toxic emotion of all. The physiology of suppressed anger leads to poor behaviour choices and poor health. We need both mental and physical action to remedy the physiology of toxic, endogenous neurochemicals that build up in the brain when anger is suppressed.'' - Rhonda Schuller (a professional writer and ultra trail-runner)
Actually, rage, hate and fear probably share the ''most toxic'' label with anger, wouldn't you say?
''Unlike women, 'men don't come in talking about feeling sad or depressed per se,' says Sam Cochran, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Iowa and co-author of Deepening Psychotherapy With Men.'' 'They come in complaining about problems at work or their performance on the job.'
''Instead of being weepy, men are more apt to be irritable and angry - moods that aren't included in the classic diagnostic tests. 'Their sadness and helplessness are hidden behind a mask of anger,' says Pollack. Often, unfortunately, neither doctors nor men themselves recognize that as a red flag.'' - Susan Freinkel, Reader's Digest
By the way, you know that we can't love others unless we love ourselves - not in a conceited or narcissistic way, but in a healthy way? A good reason maybe, you think, to process those repressed emotions that are at the root of the problem? Possibly? ... Something to think about.
Why not process the toxic emotion(s) that is or are literally consuming you so you can experience healing in your own life and your relationships?
Please Note: Processing toxic and repressed emotions isn't about blame, about blaming your parents for being bad parents or others for abusing you, for whatever reason you may do so, including feeling like and being seen as a survivor. You're already a survivor. Your brain has seen to that by creating dysfunction.
It's about understanding, based on the latest neurological and developmental research, the mother's physical conditions and the parents' emotions towards their child, the other parent and their life issues during pregnancy, at the child's birth, in the hour after birth and in the first seven years while your and probably your parents' and grandparents' brains were developing and the effect those conditions had on their, and as a result, your neurological and psychological development.
Remember, parents aren't abusive because they're bad parents. They and others are abusive because of the conditions during their development and the dysfunctional choices they make later on in life based on those conditions.
''I'm convinced that unless I know and understand the family system from which I came, I can't understand my true self and the society I live in. What has been said about cultural history is true of individuals: If we do not know our familial history, we are most likely to repeat it.'' - John Bradshaw
Unable to form healthy relationships for some reason(s)? Why not end the generational cycle of dysfunction with you, start forming healthy relationships and enjoy a physically and emotionally healthy life?
Did you know that when you suffer extreme or overwhelming emotional stress, a very real, potentially fatal disorder known as broken heart syndrome can develop?
What's more, lack of emotional intimacy is also unhealthful. Loneliness can cause high blood pressure, itself a cause of stroke, heart attack, dementia, blindness and kidney disease.
''Feelings are not buried dead; they are buried alive.'' - Janice Berger
If your soul and relationships are in need of renovation or restoration, explore the secret lament of and find a balm for your battered or deadened soul.
I encourage you to make the commitment to learn how to heal the wounds in your life and ''do the work,'' as they say; that is, apply what you've learned by processing your past and the negative emotions connected to it to break the generational cycle of dysfunctional, destructive behavior and get the life you want and deserve.
How? With a lifelong, research-based recovery program supervised by a certified counselor who specializes in dysfunctional families, and if you want to try group therapy, is experienced in leading, not a ''puke group,'' where everyone regurgitates their problems, but effective group therapy where you discuss and apply a carefully thought-out, step-by-step plan of recovery.
Why lifelong? Because complete - notice I said complete - recovery isn't something you can achieve in a few months or years, unfortunately. Recovery and healing is a lifelong process. However, the good news is that even though for a few people most of it can take up to 10 years or so, for the majority of people most of it can be achieved in 6 months to 2 years!
''Some people need one-on-one therapy; most do not.'' - Drs. Ron and Nancy Rockey (They can benefit from a supervised, syllabus-based group class on recovery.)
If your life is frustrating or unpleasant but not in crisis, and you'd like to learn how to develop healthy relationships and even get where nothing frustrates or upsets you, or at least most of the way there...
...I strongly recommend and encourage you to seriously consider attending or getting all 4 segments of The Journey, the main seminar by internationally-respected counselors Drs. Ron and Nancy Rockey, whose seminars are supported by the latest neurological and developmental research.
But if you're hurting, depressed, frustrated or stressed out so much you can't take it anymore, I strongly recommend and encourage you to seriously consider talking to a highly-recommended counselor or pastor, or a friend who will keep your secrets and give you wise advice.
However, if talking with one of them doesn't work because you still can't access your deep-seated, unresolved emotions, or you think sharing such emotions is taboo or for crazy people or sissies, there's still hope. skip
Try deep-tissue massage. Believe it or not, it was the key for others that unlocked the door that trapped those emotions inside.
Warning: Doing this while alone or in the presence of someone other than a specialist may backfire, be counterproductive.
I strongly recommend doing it in the presence of a therapist trained in childhood-related dysfunction whom you trust and can confide in, who can not only be with you to be there for you if repressed emotions are accessed as you deeply massage tight muscle areas that may have been created by emotionally stressful, maybe traumatic events instead of improper posture or ergonomics, but also help you learn how to process those emotions and give you the tools, the techniques to recover from your dysfunctional life and begin to form healthy relationships.
If you choose to do otherwise anyway, I encourage you to do so in the presence of a friend, family member or other person whom you trust and can confide in. skip
By the way, don't forget that...
''Many diseases, such as cancer, diabetes and heart disease, can run in families - knowing your family health history can save your life, as well as the lives of those you love.'' - Acting Surgeon General Kenneth Moritsugu
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